Pictures

Justine is here and joining us for class in the big top.
That felt good and even better, we are done....

Emmy, the master of all postures explains and corrects Triangle on stage.
Bikram's class right before we go into Cobra.....you don't want to know what happened next.
Waving goodbye to Anatomy. Miss ya!
The pool on Memorial Day, or what's left of the pool. Thankfully we have three pools here. I think this one needs to be completely drained and then refilled with fresh water. Absolutely yuk!
This puts any bad day in perspective again....

Week 5

Week 5

Week four ended with Memorial Day weekend. The hotel had 100% occupancy it was an absolute zoo out here. Being here as a permanent resident for the past five weeks has been weird and interesting. It’s a little bit like ‘The Truman Show’. Us yogis move through all the corners of the hotel and make the same loop several times a day. Sometimes it feels like the other guests can’t really see us.

Last week the whole hotel was getting ready for Memorial Day weekend. They put blue dye in the lagoon (poor ducks), had the whole hotel vacuumed. And to top it all off the carped cleaners were here. The whole hotel smelled like WET DOG!
You should have seen the crowd! It would be like having your whole house cleaned the day before your son has his whole soccer team over for a BBQ and sleepover....why.

To top it all of we had the fire alarm go off in our rooms twice. My roommate and I were standing in our PJ’s in front of the hotel at 2am to then found out that some drunk idiot had triggered the alarm. Needless to say, when it went of again at 4am we chose to burn down with the building.

We survived but were clearly missing out on cocktail and party time. Instead we had our last anatomy test to get ready for and postures to master.

Week five was rough. Bikram was here half the time. His classes are tough and he is very harsh on people. He yells his head off in the class! I like his classes you work incredibly hard. We’ve had to do three or four sets of some postures until everyone got it right. He has definitely toughened up a lot, no more ‘are you okay honey?’.

Bikram made us sit through two of his Indian movies again this week. 4.30am and 3am and it has not done much good for the vibe here. People are cracking, there is a lot of crying and a lot of anger at this point. We’ve seen numerous interventions between teachers and trainees at our posture clinics. Some people just completely loose it, mainly because of the lack of rest. Our bodies are sore, our souls are raw and our spirit is depleted.

This was definitely a down week for me. The repetition of things starts to irritate and to be really honest; the drama is what gets me the most. It is absolutely exhausting even if you choose not to get involved.

Weeks six looks like a promising week. We have lectures scheduled with Doctors and Rajashree will be here. She is so lovely and has a lot to share about Bikram yoga. I’m excited for it all.

My wonderful friend and teacher Justine is here the whole week, I am so happy. She arrived here on Friday and brought over a lot of letters and chocolate from all my yoga buddies in Germany. And of course letters from my boys. It’s very special to know everyone is so supportive. You make my day.


Bikramisms;

“Rolls Royse factory makes Rolls Royse no Honda,
Bikram Yoga TT makes Bikrams.”

“Bikram yoga class is like a bank robbery, do exactly as I say and nobody gets hurt.”

“Boss, do the back bend! I don’t care if you have titanium plates in your back, I have cellulite on my dick. NOW DO THE F…..G BACK BEND!”

“The mind is a computer. You make your own software. You eat 3 times a day and need 7 hours of sleep only if that is how you’ve programmed it”

Pictures

A happy sweaty after shot.
This is Kellie from Alabama, she has a thicker accent than me I love it! We are in posture group 8 together.
A last glance at the dialog before I get up to deliver.
There we go... Standing Bow Pulling Pose. It went well, it gets easier every time I do it.
The Jury. Four guest teachers who grade our performance and give us feedback. All of them are great. They are incredibly supportive of all of us and their comments are always constructive. Posture clinics are fun and very valuable for us as future teachers.
Once you have delivered the dialog you move up into the line of demonstrators. As you can see we are in a hotel room.

Bikram stretches his body to get ready to teach a class. I promise you it was a good one again...

Week 4

Week 4

Bikram is back and we know it! He came back in full force this week, classes were challenging and he turned up the heat. “I hate lazy people!” was the red thread through this week.
Three nights in a row of Indian movies, the first one ended at 4.30am…… caused a little tension in the group. It reminded me a lot of having my newborn baby and two year old at the same time. I never thought it was possible to be that tired again. Bikram Yoga TT got me to that same place. What got me through this week was taking it one day at the time and reminding myself twice a day that this yoga is a gas station.



Body and Mind

When you have control over your mind the sky is the limit.
For those of you who are not familiar with the experience of Bikram Yoga I’ll tap into that really quick. From the minute you enter the hot room your mind will tell you “it’s hot in here, it’s way too hot in here, let’s get out of here!” and once you forced that thought away the next one comes; “I can’t do this posture, I’m dizzy, there is no air in here, it’s hotter in here than the last time I went, I’ll sit down on my mat.”

One of the most beautiful things of this yoga is taking control over your mind. Inside and outside the yoga room
We’ve had some incredible classes from guest teacher over the past four weeks. Every teacher comes with his or her own passion and message and we learn so much from them while enjoying them killing us in the heat. Two messages really resonated with me and I’d love to share them with you.

Lynn one of the senior teachers here taught a class and told us from the start she was our mind, in other words push all your thoughts away and do as I say, not before and not after. This class gave me the biggest boost I’ve ever had. It was almost like an out of body experience. Because I trusted here completely she allowed me to go 150% into my postures, I gave it my all without any thoughts, it was liberating and incredible.

Jim also a senior teacher and studio owner gave me something else I really agree with. There are people that walk out of the yoga room, there are the ones that lay flat on their backs for 45 minutes out of 90 and then there are the ones that always skip certain postures. They are always the same people.
Jim told us during his class that your mind plays games with you, it’s like a spoiled little kid. If you skip a posture one morning you be sure your mind will remind you of that in your next class, it wants to skip it again. Same with walking out, laying flat, giving up. Don’t give in, push that thought away. Take control and build strength, determination, willpower. It’s beautiful.

I can proudly say I have never ever skipped a posture and always give it my best. Some days are better than others but I am committed to every posture in the series. This makes me feel strong, honest and respectful of myself and what this yoga means to me. Walking out of the hot room with my sweaty head up high feels good.
My power of being in the moment, in the present, in the here and now grows by the day. It’s a big gift I have been given by coming here.

Bikramisms:

"Sweetheart, bring your knees together this is not high-school!"

"Boss look forward, what are you looking at your balls for?"

“What is up with you Caucasians putting Chinese signs tattoos all over your bodies? Chinese have small dicks did you know that? Is that what it says on your arm, I have small dick!”

“Lock the f….g knee! I don’t care if you die I’ll jump on your coffin and yell, lock the knee, lock the knee, lock the knee!”

Camping in a **** Hotel

I know you guys all think we are spoiled in this fabulous hotel but please believe me when I tell you nothing is farther from the truth. Unless you brought a money tree with you, you are camping....
Most of us wash in the tub.
Our dryer is on the balcony. The desert provides a faster drying cycle than any dryer I ever owned. And if you don't mind crispy underwear it's fine.
The dishes happen in the bathroom...
And so do gourmet meals. The hotpot is the best purchase for this trip. It makes, tea, soup, boils eggs and veggies it's awesome.
We sleep on the floor!
As much as we can.........

Week 3

The Group

320 students. We started with 322 but believe it or not two ladies already called it quits. Packed up, left their roommates and went home. This is surely not for everyone and if your not truly committed to Bikram Yoga you won’t last.

The average age of this group I would estimate on 34. There are about 70 men here. We have only few really young girls here fresh out of school or putting college on hold for a year to be here. Then there is a very big group of 30+ women with husbands and kids at home. I have been amazed how many moms are here with me it’s really nice.

The group is a mixture of cultures. Not by any means what I am used to in Germany where we are way more diverse than this because of adidas headquarters. This group must be 1/3 American. The other huge group comes from Canada. There are a hand full Aussies here and a hand full of Europeans. Then we have a lot of people from Asia as well.

A lot of the American students here are from LA and surroundings. Most of them go home after Saturday’s class and drive back up on Sunday night again. At first I thought that would be so great. But now into week three I have changed my mind. This process is rough, we have very little time to ourselves and we have a lot of material to study. It’s stressful. Braking away from the ‘compound’ in the weekend would make it hard to get back into the routine again.
Of course they don’t have to miss their family for 9 weeks and if my family were a two hours drive away from here I would drive home too. So I would never think I would say this but I am glad they are not two hours away so I can completely focus on my training and take care of just me.

Speaking of taking care of me. These past three weeks have shown me it is way easier for me to take care of the people around me than taking care of myself. Making others feel better, eat well, sleep well and love them endlessly is what I do every day when I am at home. Now I am the person who needs all that and there is only me who can give that to me. Bikram told us in the first week “ you can never really love somebody if you don’t know how to love yourself”. He followed that up with the next line: “you’ll never meet anybody else who loves himself as much as I do”. He’s got that right!

As in every group there are many different kind of people here. All sorts of stories are shared and some share more than you can ever wish for….

One guy here started practicing Bikram Yoga while he was in prison. He lived in Amsterdam and thought it would be a good idea to smuggle 66000 XTC pills to his home country and sell them there. Of course he never got to that last part and instead spend four and a half years behind bars. Somehow he got hold of Bikram’s beginning yoga book and started to practice. Soon enough he formed his little Bikram group behind bars. Now Bikram has changed his life and he can’t wait to teach and open his own studio.

Another girl here told me she is at this training to figure out if she wants to marry her long-term boyfriend. She is in her end thirties and has been with the guy for a long time. She has no sex-drive and hopes that this training will bring it all back and give here clarity. I am not making this up.

And then there is one of us who tragically lost her spouse and has two little kids at home. She gives the term ‘missing’ a whole new dimension. Her personal victory of this week was that she got through a class without tears.

There are also couples here. At least four of them are doing the training together. Some of them do a great job mixing with all of us singles and some just do everything together. They obviously share rooms but they also sit together in lectures and even practice next to each other twice a day. This intrigues me. I miss my husband and am so looking forward to seeing him again at the end of this but having him here would be so weird. Honestly this regime brings out the worst in all of us not the cute pretty side.

Roommate drama is in full gear too. None of us picked our roomies and they didn’t exactly use the ‘match.com’ format when they put us together. The things that some of the girls here have to deal with are just too much and three weeks in it starts to cause some friction, it’s good comedy.
This is my favorite one from this week; One of the girls here had her boyfriend drive up to visit this weekend. Instead of getting a room together in the hotel he just slept with her! There is not even 1 meter between the two beds!! Her roommate was really not too jazzed when she went up to her room to get something and found both of them naked in bed. They are both women in their 40’s not teenagers. Not very yoga etiquette.

Week three was rough. Study, anatomy, lectures and more study over the weekend.
The yoga twice a day is still fantastic and we have had some amazing guest teachers this week.

On to week four, Bikram will join us again this week…

Pictures

The only man I'll be kissing while I'm here. I might have to invite him to my room one night. Can't help but feeling something is missing...
The view from our room, when you look past the wall that is actually right in front of us and blocking us of sun the whole day.
When I told my sister the lobby here is huge she asked me if it was ten times bigger than her one bedroom apartment.
This place is as big as Amsterdam Central Station, IT'S HUGE!
Emmy Cleaves teaches us in the mornings of week 2. A lot of information to digest and long poses to hold because of that.

Bikram had a sore back and asked four men to create a 'natural human traction' for him.
He left to travel around the world this week. His energy is intoxicating I'll miss him and will for sure look forward to his classes again.

Week 2

Sunday, no alarm, no yoga and for now no stress. The hotel has calmed down and it’s a very nice contrast to what the scene was last night. This hotel is completely packed in the weekends. We’ve seen bachelor parties, sales men, big fat loud Americans all lined up along the poolside. Most of our yoga group really doesn’t blend into this crowd. Of course it is great people watch!

The sun here is really strong. My poor Canadian/Irish roomy managed to turn pink after putting on SPF 60 numerous times.

Bikram jelled at a lady in class the other day, she really burned the front of her legs. In typical fashion: “wow does that hurt? Guys please be careful we make yogis here not beef jerkey!” (A dried meat treat Americans love to chew on)

This week Emmy Cleaves is here. She is Bikram’s most senior teacher (80 years young) and she kicked our bums. After class I felt like I got dragged through the desert behind a truck! Emmy skipped the stage and just walked through the room to make corrections. She is all about alignment and performing the postures the right way. It was a powerful class. She is an impressive lady who looks amazing in a one-piece leotard/bathing-suit.
The honeymoon feeling has passed here and reality has kicked in for a lot of us. This is boot camp. Today is 45C and it is hot. We are almost done with the Half Moon presentations in front of Bikram.

The nurse announced today that we have to do CPR course on Saturday and get CPR certified while we are here. This is the first training they’ve implemented that part. After seeing the war zone in our yoga room I am very pleased to walk out of here with a CPR certification.

Rough times have started for a lot of fellow students here. We’ve been advised not to get involved with the suffering and drama of others. People go through a lot of stuff while pushed to the limit and they need to face it other wise it wouldn’t come out. If you get too involved you obstruct your own development here and theirs.

Some of you have heard many stories and so did I before I got here. They are true. We have buckets here to puke in during class and they do get filled. Tears are flowing like it can only rain in Amsterdam. And even the other bodily functions seem to act up for some of us. It’s not always pretty but it’s part of our classes and believe it or not you get used to it. The teachers practicing in the back of the room have it under control and there is never panic.

The Indian movies are still playing till 3am and we are all sleep-deprived. Emmy explained to us that this is part of the process. It will take down all the walls and learned behavior we’ve made up throughout the years, all the ego and facades have to crumble down so we can work with the pure beings again. With all those real people we’ll get some excellent yogis. I find it all very interesting.

Me, I feel on top of the world, the more I learn about this yoga the more eager I am to share it with my future students. The classes are truly a gas station for my body. Every time I think I am tired and have no fizz left we have another class to go to and half way through I can feel my whole body recharge. It’s truly an incredible feeling. Bikram has thought every afternoon class over the past week and it has saved me. How is the body? The body is fantastic, no pains or pulls and I gained a ton of strength in my legs already. The mind is in good shape too. This has been a rough week but my mind was always able to pull me back to a calm and comfortable place.

Bikramisms:
~ “Boss can you open the door please? I can’t breath up here I have no air the only air I get up comes out of all of your asses!”

~ “Mama, pull your f…..g knees up, how can you have sex if you don’t even know how to pull up your knees!?!”

~ “ I am the best catch, everybody wants to marry me.”

~ “If anybody can take your peace and happiness away you are the loser.”

Pictures

our room for the next nine weeks. Shannon is stuck in Half Moon Pose. We are all stuck in Half Moon Pose.

me presenting Half Moon Pose in front of Bikram, and the other 350.
the crowd. We have lectures in this room too. Then Bikram sits in his big fuzzy chair on stage.
we have to sign in before every class to show we are there.
this is what the hot room looks like before class starts.

Week 1

It’s Friday today and I honestly feel like I have been here for a long time. It has been an overwhelming week. And looking back on it I can say it was a great week!

Double classes are great. Believe it or not they feel like a treat. It’s what has kept me sane this week. The yoga room they have built here for us is in a huge conference tent and it is nice. Spacious so we’re not on top of each other. When we are all in there I sometimes take a moment to just look around me and inhale the moment. 350 people doing balancing stick is really and amazing sight. We are all in lines so the group looks like a perfect yoga army, beautiful!

Rajashree (Ra-djash-ree) teaches the morning classes this week. She is a beautiful person and teaches a phenomenal class. When she enters the room you feel okay, she is a mom and she’s got a lot of kids to take care of for the next 9 weeks.
Rajashree and Bikram were introduced by their guru and got married 25 years ago she was only 19 then. They have a son and a daughter together. There is a lot of emphasis on marriage and relationship in their lectures and little talks. It’s very important to them and that makes me feel save somehow. There is a lot of mutual respect between Bikram and his Rajashree, they balance each other perfectly and you can really feel the love and respect between them. They have so much love that they are able to share it with all of us.

There is a big group of teachers present here that is the core staff for the nine weeks and they are all great. There is no ego and they are truly on top of things. Every time someone is down on their mat in class one of them walks over to check on them, our questions are answered and our eyes will be opened if we doze off during lectures.
Bikram told us we are on this earth to give. The peer teachers are definitely setting an example for us.

Our days are full and till now we’ve had 20 hours nonstop. The alarm is set for 7am and we start with yoga at 8.30am. We all have to be there at 8 because we have to sign in to show we are present. If you don’t show for a class/lecture/class/lecture or you forget to sign in you have to do a ‘make up class’ in the weekend. My goal is to not have that happen.
After morning class we get an hour and a half to shower and have lunch and than have to sign in again for posture clinic. Right now Bikram is still seeing all of us perform half moon.
I did mine on the second day and it went well. Of course I worked hard on it and practiced with my roomy before going on stage.
Bikram’s response: ‘Everybody, that’s the way I want it! Very good’
Needless to say I was pleased with that and relieved it was over.

The four hours lectures at night go by fast. Bikram is a huge barrel of wisdom. He teaches us about people, about life, about choices. It has been a privilege to sit there and listen to him. He goes from really funny to rude to making a very strong point. We laugh with him he keeps it all very fresh. I can only speak for myself but I have not been bored with his lectures for one second.

Bikram’s lectures have ended around midnight and on Wednesday and Thursday he has started Indian movies right after that. We were up till three these nights and then starting with yoga again at 8am the next morning. These movies are 4 hours long and not something you would pick when you are going to the video store. However they all came to a valuable point eventually and I understand he wanted to share them with this group.

Everyone that knows me knows 4 hours of sleep a night is not ideal for me. I’ve managed to get myself out of bed at 7 and really surprised the hell out of myself with my class on Friday morning, it was the best so far. After class I was floating back to my room to shower in a state of complete satisfaction and high. It was awesome! This experience convinced me about the process. We are in good hands and Bikram knows what he is doing.

He is not some ass keeping us up for the fun of it. There is a plan and he has proven for many years it works. We’ve been advised by experienced teachers to ‘stay in the moment’ don’t worry about what’s next or tomorrow or at home. Be present and be in the moment. I’ve reminded myself of that advice a few times already this week and it’s been a helpful tool.

Saturday started with a morning class that ends at 10am after that we’re off for the weekend unless you have got to do a make up class. So here I am in my room trying to update you as best as I can. I’ll do this once a week and will also check my hotmail address on these days.


Bikramisms of week one:
~ Common sense is the sense that’s most uncommon

~ In India you can’t touch a woman. You can burn them but you can’t touch them.

~What the f..k is wrong with this hotel giving us all new towels! I look like a chicken all white fuzzies stuck on my body!

~The conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time. Choose a positive
thought.

~Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

On my way...

Saying goodbye was not easy. The boys are all back in Germany now and I am in the US for the next 9 weeks.
I’m glad the actual day of us separating is behind us, it’s something that hangs over you the last coupe of days even though you are together. You know it’s coming and you know it will be sad. So they are off and I am moving to the next part of the journey. Ready to start it all.

After a nice tree hour drive from LA my mother in-law and I arrive at the JW Marriot. It is massive, with ponds and flamingos in the front yard! This is a true American hotel. The lobby is huge and filled with people. This hotel is fully booked right now so it almost feels like you are in a little city when you enter the premises.

It’s Saturday the 25th so we are a day early. It will give us the chance to drive around here a little bit and see what is near the hotel. When we entered the hotel we already saw there is a Ralph’s grocery store opposite the street so that’s great because I’ll be able to walk over there to get the things I need. For all the other trips you’d basically need a car.

There are lots of people here with cars but the hotel charges $10 a day for them to park, witch adds up obviously.

After a good orientation of the area we have a wonderful last meal together, I’m so glad I can share this first impression with someone. We have a wonderful time together and it’s hard for me to see her leave the next day. Now I am really on my own.

When we checked in earlier today I found out my roommate flew in early too so she was already in the room her and I will share for the next 9 weeks. Can’t wait to meet her. It makes me a little nervous. Especially after having seen the rooms. The rooms are small and most of them have two double beds in them with a nightstand in the middle. Then there is a dresser with a huge flat-screen, a mini bar and a table to write at. You could basically hold hands while you sleep in next to each other. It’s a little bit like and Indian Marriage ‘no choice’ as Bikram will tell us many times.

As you might have noticed already I am not connected to the internet in the hotel. Up until now the Bikram organization has not organized a rate for us at the hotel. The Marriot charges $12.95 a day for internet in your room! I’ll probably have internet once a week and drop the updates in my blog that day. It stressed me out to find out I’m so disconnected it was not how I pictured myself here for 9 weeks. It is what it is and I’ll figure out the best way to connect home over then next couple of weeks.

Sunday 26th

So I am in my new room and have officially met my roomy. I feel lucky. Shannan (32) is from Victoria, Canada and has also practiced Bikram for a little over a year. She has a husband and a big dog to miss during our stay here. We click well I am very pleased and relieved. Our room is small but it holds all we brought. Now it’ll be up to us to keep it our little happy place.

Today is registration day and we are having our first meeting/presentation done by Rajahsree (Bikram’s wife) she is stunning and very reassuring. She makes sure everyone feels they are going to be okay. Bikram will arrive at the hotel today and will teach our first class on Monday afternoon. My body is craving a good practice, it’s been five days.

Both my roommate and myself haven’t been sleeping very well here. It’s our second night in the hotel and we keep waking up in the middle of the night not being able to go back to sleep. This has nothing to do with the hotel and all with our new situation. We’re like a teenager going to highschool for the first time, it’s all new, we meet twenty new people per hour and it’s all very stressful because we there are so many loose ends still. It will all come and settle.
The vibe here is very good we are a group of 321 trainees all in the same boat and it feels like a very supportive situation.

Bikram will be here for the first two weeks straight and we all have to present half moon pose on stage in front of him and the whole group. He says it’s his chance to meet all of us and see what we are made off. It’s been fun seeing everyone introduce themselves and blast out the dialog for half moon pose. Most of us have never been in front of 350 people. The funny thing is that those 350 are your lifeline while you are up there. It’s ‘The boss’ who is sitting in his big fluffy chair in the isle that intimidates you.

I’ll give it a day and then I’ll go up there.